Sunday, August 26, 2012

Who Should Make the Move? A Question for Both Guys and Girls.

Seriously, this issue has been popping on my head for some time now. Currently, I'm in no relationship and as what my mind keeps telling me, I do not have the time for it. But for those who are single and considering on entering into one, I wanna ask both your opinions: who should make the move?

I do not intend this question to be in the context of who should ask someone to be his/her partner, but what I want to know is whether who should establish the connection first: the boy or the girl?

Even til these days, the most prominent condition I see is that the boys are the ones who notice the girls first. Then, they get to know her by spending time with her and the likes. But, the relationship they form can go two ways (especially if the guy sends signals from the beginning that he likes the girl): either 1.They proceed to being a couple or 2. They melt into being strangers once more. However, there are cases wherein the relationship remains in what I personally call the "stagnant mode" where the two neither lose the other but they do not move to being more. With some situations that came into view, those that keep the relationship even if it's getting nowhere are the girls. At first, when boys are the ones who keep chasing, the girls are the ones who try to avoid (based on the situations that I know of). However, as time passes, the girls are the ones who now chase after the guy. They keep on talking to the guy and at times, they are the ones who do something in order to be around the guy. And that's where I need your opinions people.  

Should the girls be the one to keep the relationship? Or should they step down and let the boys be the one to think of means to keeping it? Should they keep it stagnant, move on or just let go?

I'm not saying that the guys are doing nothing, but when it comes to effort, the thing I see today is that the girls are the ones who keep on stopping what they do just so they can be with that person, especially if she begins to develop some feelings for him. I don't know. Maybe I'm still living in the century where girls just sit and wait for the guy to do everything but today, it's different. I'm not dissing on either parties, I just want to know. 

I'm really open to answers from both sides because I am really confused. I do not intend to start a debate between males and females but I just want to learn what your opinions are considering this. This may not be such an issue but I'm just really curious. And because of this, my comments box is totally open and you're free to post your opinions! Hoping to hear a little enlightenment from you guys.



  1. Wow.

    I seriously love this post.

    A good topic, and you have presented it in a very engaging way...

    You deserve the credit, Camille. ^_^

    (Proceeding to the topic...)

    For me, it purely depends.

    Usually, men are expected to step up and initiate. If they can't even own up and take charge, most likely they aren't prepared for a relationship. How can a woman be sure that she can rely on a man who does not even have the esteem to own up his feelings for her?

    But again, these are just surface factors. Some men need a push before he can soar, while some need someone to walk with them to build their self-esteem or to resolve whatever problem they might be facing. Men have their own insecurities and flaws as well, and it is both unfair and immature to expect them to pick it up entirely on their own. Men are expected to lead and take initiative, but men are also the one who get burnt out the quickest, especially with social and work demands being loaded unto them - and it is then when the support of their partner are essential to keep them going.

    If the man is too immature to handle his partner's insecurities, or if the woman is too immature to support his partner's emotional needs (demanding and taxing him out with demands and expectations), the relationship is doomed to fail. Don't get yourself in a relationship before finding out whether both you and he/she are ready to take each other on.

    But on the other hand... if you are willing to go that extra mile for that other person. If you really are willing to invest the time and effort to build him/her up (especially in terms of confidence and self-esteem) and give that person a chance to see whether he/she is really the one for you... go ahead, especially if both of you are friends - even if you are a girl.

    These are a few insight I can offer for now. Wished I have more time to share, but I'm being pressed on time at the moment. Do ask if you want to know more or if you find my answer unsatisfactory. =)


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